another bullshit night in suck city

nick flynn spoke at the university of missouri last thursday. i picked up flynn's book 'another bullshit night in suck city' when i attended the nieman conference in boston back in 2006. it's a memoir about the author's relationship (or lack thereof) with his alcoholic father. the title originates from a common saying by his dad.

after flynn read from both of his memoirs and also a few poems, he took questions from the audience. i asked him, "considering your father's relationship with alcohol and its debilitating consequences, how does alcohol show up in your life? have you made a conscious decision to not drink?" he answered, "yea, i shouldn't drink. let's say that it doesn't take me toward the light." he asked if i was satisfied w/ his answer and i said yes. i took this to mean that he drinks, even though he knows that he probably shouldn't.

i'm not sure why people do things that they know they shouldn't do. i guess there are multiple reasons: addiction, peer pressure, habit, stupidity, depression, adventure, fun, fear and who knows what else. temptation is a dangerous side of life. but at some point i think it's simply a cost/benefit analysis. which path works best for me? are the risks worth the price? i've been doing some thinking about this lately.

mr. whitaker's neighborhood

before mary and i went to bed last nite, we took a listen out our living room window and heard the following: "mr. whitaker, this is the columbia police. we know you're in there. come out the front door with your hands up." the criminal in question lives just west of our house at the intersection of broadway and scott.

grammy ruth

mary and i went to visit her grandmother this weekend in lincoln, nebraska. she has a cancerous brain tumor and will probably not live much longer. a couple of weeks ago, ruth was more or less in good condition. the cancer came on and spread quickly.

despite the sadness, we had a good time together. ruth has a strong sense of humor and laughed often at all of our silliness. we looked through old photo albums with some holding pictures from as far back as 1955. i found one of busch stadium probably taken in the 70s and grammy was kind enough to give it to me. ruth also passed along our columbia wedding album back to mary. i guess she figured it was best if we held on to it.

grammy ruth walked a mile everyday and lived a clean life. she probably received a half a dozen cards just yesterday from friends. i asked her for some life advice and she offered me two pieces: 1) share, and 2) don't drink beer. as an only child, i sometimes struggle with the first and have been known to not abide by the second rule either. we laughed and decided to not pursue a third offering.

we ate dinner with kathy, kirk, tracy, lynn and dan. halle's lasagna warmed our bellies. in the background, we listened to the radio as the cornhuskers played football against south dakota state. ruth took her medicine about 9 pm and went to sleep shortly thereafter but not before saying her ritualistic goodnight to her husband lambert, who passed away in 2004. kirk and kathy tucked her into bed. mary and i slept downstairs — the first time either of us had spent the night there.

in the morning, mary's cousin jay and his wife came by to visit. jay's hair is getting longer and when ruth gave him grief about it, jay told her that mine was longer. i called him a hippie and we laughed. after a relatively short stay, grammy encouraged jay to leave. she wanted him to get on the road and back to wisconsin. she wanted him to get on with his life. i think ruth believes that this will be the last time she sees jay. next up was mary.

grammy ruth hugged and kissed mary, also telling her that she is very special. it's a tough thing to say goodbye to someone you have known and loved your entire life.

this one goes out to you grammy:
"And instead of saying all of your goodbyes - let them know
You realize that life goes fast
It's hard to make the good things last
You realize the sun doesn't go down
It's just an illusion caused by the world spinning round

Do You Realize - that you have the most beautiful face."

harvest moon

after the dark horse texted me last nite about a harvest moon, i walked out and took a photo with a 300mm lens that i had been using at the mu vs. texas volleyball game. this picture is a crop but almost no photoshopping has been done.

"But there's a full moon risin', Let's go dancin' in the light, We know where the music's playin', Let's go out and feel the night. Because I'm still in love with you, I want to see you dance again, Because I'm still in love with you, On this harvest moon." -- Neil Young

lock and key

found this beauty in the animal science research center

crazy fun and pregnancy

looks like some folks took the sticker to heart. location: mkt trail (stadium entrance by mlk memorial)

rachel got birthdayed

rachel and her husband gabe share a moment at the kojaba cabana where she turned 36 years old and karaoked with some fine folks.